Tuesday, June 9, 2009

The Human Garberator

Crazies Among Us, Entry One

My Hubby used to work at a food processing plant with a crazy guy who was known as the Human Garberator. It became a game of sorts for the staff to see what gross food offering "Bob" would stop at.

One coffee break, Bob sat down to have a bowl of cereal. One of the guys reached across the table and poured an ounce of blue industrial food dye #1 into Bob's bowl- enough of this potent pigment to dye an Olympic size pool. Ron looked at the inky milk, shrugged, and dug his spoon in.

Hours later, someone noticed Bob with blue sweat beads on his brow. When he returned from the mens' room, he happliy announced having other blue fluids in his system.

The next day, someone asked if he'd done a 'blue poo'- the answer was yes.

Panic set in two weeks later when there was no improvement. The workplace called the dye manufacturer to asked what a person should do in this instance, and the phone went dead before the agent asked nervously why anyone would have ingested this amount of Blue #1.

She suggested she suggested he'd be fine, and should drink plenty of water. Two months later, Bob returned to normal.

He's still alive, and eating gross crap.

4 comments:

FuturePrimitive said...

lol

markjoy said...

Holy Violet Beauregard! Although I have wondered what it would be like to be blue all over. But I hardly think it would be worth the trouble without the everlasting gobstopper with the roast beef, mashed potatoes, and blueberry cobbler.

Tracy said...

I would imagine life with Bob was never boring at meal time. :D

lalg said...

Okay, I had a great aunt who turned blue. She stayed that way though all her life. Never married either. Seems the doctor gave her silver nitrate for some ailment she had and she took way too much. Every place the sun touched, she exposed like film. True story.

 

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