Ahem, My Side of the Story

I know you are all wondering why I mentioned Helena Bonham Carter and then went mysteriously quiet on the topic. It has something to do with this posting from a favorite website, Go Fug Yourself:

As much as I think the shoes are wackadoo, I have to admit that my first thought was “dang, I bet those are comfortable”. I made the mistake of admitting that to Jesse, who, nutbag that he is, has completely overstated the case.

However, those FiveFingers are AWESOME and I want a pair right now.

And before he makes you think he’s not the crazy one, these are his favorite shoes right here:

Not only are they uncomfortable, technically speaking, THEY’RE NOT EVEN SHOES. THEY’RE SKEWERS YOU TAPE TO YOUR LEGS.

I rest my case.

Jackie is Crazy

There is no question in my mind. She's off her rocker. She's gone over the edge. Mad as a Hatter. Lost her marbles.

You might say, she's past the point of safe return.

You see, she has fallen in love with something new. She claims that it's practically a match made in heaven and that there is nothing in the world that she wants more right now:

That's right. Z-Coil shoes.

I'm sure they are practical. I'm sure they are comfortable. But come on! They're glorified (if they can be called that) Mary Janes. Tired. Boring. Usual, albeit, with a spring.
First it was Crocs, then it was 'Gellin like Magellan' (which really isn't a rhyme, no matter what the story books say). I thank the stars that she never caught the ballerina slipper shoe movement, 'cause those are just wrong; they're not even cute, they're snub nosed hose slippers with little bows or bedazzled bits on them, sheesh.

If you really want to make a funky fashion statement and be more comfortable than your regular fare, Fivefingers are so much cooler:
These are awesome. Totally remind me of the socks I always wanted as a kid. Well, alright, I still want them.

It's not that I hate the shoes. I just think they're way too boring for her. I mean, she is crazy. Nothing helps a crazy person better than a little bit of boring and therefore, I may have to hide them from her for all time.