Thursday, January 29, 2009

25 Things You Don't Know About Me

1. I used to work as a magician. If you can survive street busking on the Las Vegas Strip, a craft show will be a walk in the park.

2. I have a deep interest in Shakespeare. Ask me anything about Hamlet and I can give you three different viewpoints and supporting info for each one.

3. I hate playing chess because I understand it perfectly, but I don't like being bothered to plan several moves in advance, so I always lose.

4. I've never lost a game of Trivial Pursuit. I often announce my impending win before the start of a game, then stomp everybody. Oddly, nobody will play with me anymore.

5. Now that I'm on the topic, I love playing games in general. I also play highly competitive Twister and have been known to head butt people if it will make them fall over so I WIN.

6. I have no musical ability at all, and feel horribly inferior about it. I deeply envy people who can sing.

7. I'm pretty artistic, and have at various times been paid to paint, sculpt, draw, sew, what have you - my favorite project was a billboard that I did for a play (Antigone) that I painted freehand, with a big roller.

8. My husband is ten years younger than I am.

9. I grew up in Northern Nevada and spent a lot of my time on my Grandfather's ranch. I spent most of my time riding my Arab mare.

10. I started getting gray hair in my 20's.

11. I love to cook but never have time to do it any more.

12. I drive like a maniac. I try to take public transportation because otherwise I'm headed for disaster.

13. I lose my temper with people sometimes, but never with animals.

14. I've traveled to most countries on the Pacific Rim. I don't have the money to travel right now and I miss it terribly.

15. I'm an avid scuba diver, and swim like a fish.

16. I hate how I look in photos and never let people take pictures of me.

17. I suck at saying NO. No, I don't.

18. I studied ballet from the age of 5 until I was 21.

19. My hand-eye coordination is just awful and if somebody throws a ball at me, my natural response is to flinch away and probably fall over. It's embarrassing.

20. I don't celebrate birthdays or major holidays.

21. I love sailing and the ocean. Being away from land brings me deep inner peace.

22. I'm not aging all that gracefully. My brain is stuck on "lose 25 pounds and you'll feel five years younger" but I think that only works up to a point.

23. I'll always be a little pissed off that I was born to late to be a hippy in the 60's.

24. My best decisions are made by following my instinct, not by using logic. I've made some horrendous mistakes that way, too. Sometimes it's hard to tell which is which until I've lived with it for a while.

25. Everything is funny, if you look at it the right way. This has probably saved me from suicide once or twice.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Childhood is GROSS

So DH and I were laying in bed last night, trying to fall asleep, and idly discussing what kind of feet caterpillars have. This is the kind of thing we talk about, which explains a LOT about our home life.

At one point I was talking about taking a good look at a fat green caterpillar, and I can remember getting a really good look at it. Then I realized that the memory included the caterpillar crawling up my arm while I examined him closely.

I also remembered a lot of time playing with striped caterpillars crawling over my arms and hands – after a bit of research, it turns out they were Monarch caterpillars, which makes sense because I clearly recall the resulting butterflies, too.

I know there were fuzzy and spiky and horned caterpillars, too, and I prefer not to think about it because I let them crawl on me, I bet. *shudder*

I had a lot more to say when I started this post, mostly about how repulsed I am about how I used to wade around in ponds catching tadpoles, letting the mud squish up between my toes even though god only knows what was living and breeding in that mud, and it’s a wonder that I never got malaria or cholera or creeping green death from swimming in that fetid glop.

I can’t do it now, though, because I just spent the last hour looking up and identifying various disgusting bugs that I let crawl on me and now I have the willies and I’ll be damned if I’m looking up pond scum when I’m already in a delicate overwrought condition.

Childhood is GROSS.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Really, I’m a Magpie

Today on the Etsy forums somebody asked if anyone was a hoarder. She was talking about her obsession with supplies, and how she couldn’t manage to give up her stash of beads. I felt an instant connection, and here’s why:

I have a fishing tackle box full of beads.
  • Do I make jewelry? No.
  • Do I make any sort of accessory? No.
  • Do I make clothing with lovely hand-beaded details? No.
  • Do I, in fact, make one single thing that uses beads in any way whatsoever?
  • Have I ever made EVEN ONE THING that uses a bead, anywhere, in any way?

I have carted this tackle box with me in moving from apartment to apartment to my house, and I refuse to get rid of it. It weighs a ton and there are probably spiders hiding in the back corners, but I have a big fit any time my husband suggests, gently, that I do away with the beads.

When I walk through craft stores, I have brief moments of desire in the bead aisle. My husband drags me away, pointing out that I already have plenty of beads. Usually he’s pulling me down the aisle at Michaels while my shoes sqeeeeeeeee in resistance, but he’s stronger than me so he wins. If he looks away for even an instant, I’m back in the aisle with the pretty shiny things that I want to buy because...

...ooooo, shiny!

Oh, and I was shopping for yarn today and I got all interested in some cool art yarn BECAUSE IT HAS BEADS IN IT. Yeah, that’s it! I’m not buying beads, I’m buying YARN. Shiny, twinkly, sparkly yarn!

I'm sorry, what was the question?

Wednesday, January 14, 2009



I have some soaps planned, and in a moment of wild foolishness I actually promised them to some wholesale accounts, even though I haven’t made them yet. I’m still behind, and I can’t help noticing that my mouth is keeping me lodged firmly in Panic City.

No worries.

I have a three day weekend, and I’ll be a soaping fiend the whole time. I’ll take pics and post updates and complain so you guys can see what I’ve got in the works.


...once the soap is in the molds, I’m kinda left standing there and staring at it until it cools enough to come out. So there’s time to revamp a few other things. Currently, I’m brainstorming bath bombs.

I have a couple of scents that are going bye-bye in 2009 – Gardenia and Strawberry Lemonade. And I’m considering a whole big list of stuff to add! Here are the contenders:

  • Almond
  • Ambre de Nepal
  • Isis
  • Jellybean
  • Lavender Honey
  • Magnolia
  • Pele
  • Pomegranate & Black Currant
  • Rare Earth
  • Sandalwood
  • Tonic
Or, you know, whatever strikes my fancy.

How do those all sound? I’m excited to make them.

Even though I never get to use them.

I have one of those el cheapo all-in-one Tupperware shower and tub enclosures, with the bathtubs made for ten year olds. You know, the ones where you can get your back wet, or your legs wet, but not both at the same time? I’m a tall girl, and pretty damn wide if you must know, so I pretty much fill the bathtub and THEN turn on the water. And then sit cramped up with my knees under my chin, wondering if I can possible slither my arm free to get the soap.

I’m sorry, I got distracted.

Anyway, let me know what you think of the new bomb ideas.

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Happy New Year

Or Not.

It started as a happy new year – everyone got a little rest and got to eat cookies. I had a stretch of enforced relaxation – some of my raw materials were delayed by weather, so the soaping frenzy I had planned turned into long movies and rubbing the dog’s belly so much that I thought I was going to rub him bald.

Then I came back to my day job.


For starters, I was actually fielding lots of phone calls from home, because I’m generally busy over year end – so I came back to a billion skillion* e-mails. I’ve been catching up on those for the past three days.

The next bummer - my assistant has moved on to greener pastures. She and her husband have been planning to move to Utah, and she got a great new job there – so she gave her two-week notice just before Christmas, and smart chickie that she is, got lots of holiday time to pack her house. Today was her last day. (Bye, Nick! *sniffle*)

Nicolle has always been relentlessly cheerful, which was pretty funny considering how cranky I am, but we balanced each other nicely. Now I have to be grumpy all alone. Poo. I don’t have a new assistant yet, because …

Dark spot number three, another round of layoffs is upon us.

I guess they were being nice – I know they were avoiding trashing anyone’s Christmas – but still, I’m watching people who have been here for years, packing up personal belongings in cardboard boxes. I know a lot of these people well, and I keep thinking – “dang, her mom is having health problems and needs medical help” or “didn’t her husband just lose his job?”

Everybody is in a bind right now, and there weren’t ANY people who wouldn’t be hurt by this. Other people are being spread thinner to cover existing positions – my assistant opening will be covered by this kind of shuffle.


Three work days into the 2009, and it’s pretty grim.

Hang on, it’s going to be a bumpy year.

*somewhere between a million and a scallion.


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