The Perils of Liquid Soap

I get asked for this all the time. “Why don’t you make liquid soap or body wash? Pleeeeeease?”

*snorfle*

I don't currently make liquid soap, because ... okay, here's the story. Liquid soap gets made differently than bar soap - the chemistry is different, and you *cook* the beast, generally using a crock pot. Now, unbeknownst to me, my crock pot is hotter than the average.

So, as the glop that will eventually make soap is cooking, it boils over. And, secretly and unseen, gets between the ceramic pot and the hot metal part, soaking the insulation and the wiring.

Of course, I want to clean up after myself. So I grab a wet sponge. I am now standing on a damp floor, holding a wet sponge, with my other hand resting on the edge of a stainless steel sink, and I HAVE NOT UNPLUGGED THE CROCKPOT because I am a fargin' moron.

As it turns out, soap is a dandy conductor of electricity.

I hadn't even touched the pot yet, when I felt the oddest tingle shoot up my arm and then my brain made a noise like a bugzapper, I swear to god it did. I leapt backwards, called my husband to unplug the pot, and went into the living room to sit down and make sure I hadn't forgotten second grade or anything like that. My arm started feeling normal within several days, so I figure I'm okay.

So, I'm probably risking certain death if I make it. And I could probably only charge about six or eight bucks. I have decided that my life is worth AT LEAST a ten spot.

Nope, don’t make liquid soap. Thanks for asking!