The Pitter-Patter of Little Feet

No, I'm not pregnant.

First of all, a big fat thank you for the scent suggestions for body frosting. I fully intend to get some of them up and listed in my shop, soon. I haven’t done it yet, and I do have a reason.

You’re right. It’s another post about:

Why I Don’t Get Enough Sleep.

In my never ending quest for a truly restful night, Jesse and I went to bed early last night. The dog, wonderful boy that he is, had been sleeping with us for a week or so and because he’s both wiggly and smelly, we were exhausted. When the Bander-boo zonked out on the couch, we knew we had a chance to get what we’d been craving….. LEG ROOM!

Anyway, we went to bed early. I could tell that I was going to sleep well, and that it would do me a world of good.

Until 3 am or so, when I had a rude awakening caused by SOMETHING running back and forth across our roof. Said something was clearly pretty heavy, because at first I thought it was the dog. So it was a passable imitation of a 100-pound lab running down a flight of stairs. That’s pretty thumpy.

If you guys recall, I spent some time last month babbling about wildlife that come to our house to eat avocados from our tree. One of the grazers is a raccoon. Not a little cute raccoon, but a large mean overgrown scruffy raunchy raccoon, with one cauliflower ear and a look on his face like he just kicked a coyote’s ass. Other people have local wildlife. WE have R.O.U.S.s.

Apparently once you’ve eaten all the avocados you want, you can take them up on the person’s roof and do a little dance with them, and invite all your raccoon buddies to go bowling by rolling rock hard avocados over bumpy Spanish-style roof tiles. Then you can argue about who brought the last avocado and squabble for a while. When that’s done, you should launch yourself off the roof and into the top of the tree.

That’s the point where we arrived. Jesse grabbed the flashlight from the nightstand and we ran over to the window, where we pulled back the curtain to see a vast, smelly, evil, cranky raccoon clinging to the tree right on the other side of the glass. He looked pretty pissed off that we were shining the light in his eyes. If it hadn’t been for the glass he probably would have spit in my eye. As it was, he gave me the finger and sauntered off into the night.

So. I won’t be sleeping terribly well for the next few nights. I’ll sleep great on the weekend, because Saturday morning Jesse and I will have a coin toss to see who has to climb the tall, rickety ladder with a saw, and who gets to stand on the ground and tell the other person they’re doing it wrong.

If I’m the one who climbs and I fall and die, I want you all to tell the cops that the raccoon pushed me.